A Welcoming Co-Existence

If there is one thing I could never fully thank the Mexican people for while I’ve been here it would be being welcomed.  I want to give a special thank you to Alejandro, my new friend, who was the first to understand my project and who helped me get started.  It wasn’t part of his job, but he wanted to support my project so he spent 3-4 days taking me to a lot of different high schools out in rural areas.  He allowed me to take in the atmosphere of each school and then decide where I wanted to be.  Then, he made sure that I had full support and cooperation at the school, and was welcomed.  I ended up choosing the school he helped found and where he was the director for eight years.  While spending time at the school, the students have welcomed me, some with a little reservation, but mostly with open arms.  They have generous hearts, and they have done so much to make me feel like part of their community.  Many stories have been shared with me about their lives, which makes me feel even more welcomed.  Also, I’ve been part of different celebrations at school, been fed, and been given a small Christmas gift (and they gave one to my mom, too).  I was invited into homes for Day of the Dead and recently to do a parent interview.  All of this because they just want to share, or convivir.

Convivir is this word that Mexicans use, especially in this small town, that I feel doesn’t really have a translation.  It means to co-exist, but we don’t say that, at least not where I’m from. I don’t say that one of my favorite things about life, school, or work is that I get to co-exist with others.  We might say that we spend time, hang out, or visit and share, but none of those seem to have the same meaning or feeling to me as convivir.  I asked some students to describe it on camera today.  They said that convivencia or co-existence is to talk, to have fun together, and to share a meal together.  I still don’t feel like that does it justice.  What I understand about it is a strong sense of just being together and sharing life.  I think this is one of the aspects of Mexican families that make them so important in their culture.  Being together, talking, sharing, eating – that is the essence of the family life, and life itself.  I believe that I have this in my life back in the US, but probably not to the degree of most Mexicans.  I think we need to adopt this word or a word that carries the essence of what it means to be with others.  I think that it is an aspect of life at school that could really be missing in our culture, and for many it could be missing in their daily lives.  I remember my friends being the most important thing about high school, especially my teammates on my sports teams.  But, as Americans we move differently, think differently – we are much more future oriented and individualistic people, so I think we miss out on a real “convivencia” in some ways.  There is always somewhere to go, something to do.  I realize and respect the fact that our culture gets stuff done, trust me.  But, perhaps we can start to find more ways to co-exist in our communities, our schools, and with our own families.  I feel like there are so many people out there, especially youth,  suffering a lack of co-existence, a place where they belong, and someone who shares with them.

So, let’s go welcome others, foreigners especially… and convivir with each other.

P.S. One fact I found recently, from the OECD website was that Mexicans work more hours than the average American and the average Mexican salary is 12,732 bucks a year.  In the US, the average salary is listed as 38,001.  However, Mexicans have a higher life satisfaction rating or level of happiness than we do.  Is it because they know how to convivir??